Tuesday, April 22, 2025

  Tuesday, April 22, 2025

Tuesday morning. I'm eating breakfast. 

I've looked back at my blog posts before and I can see a pattern. I've been dreaming of a better life while being unable to achieve these dreams.

I'm uncertain about this evening. I'm planning to attend the Disability program at the center but there's a chance of rain.

I plan to attend the D&D program at the library in my community on Friday.

I feel unwanted. I don't feel attractive. I wonder if there's a boy out there who could find me attractive. I want my first boyfriend. 

I am Trans-Nonbinary. I have a penis. I've been asked if I have a penis when telling someone I'm nonbinary. 

I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm lonely and I'm ready to start my life...

I often wonder about the people I've met over the years and I wonder where they are now. I'm always saddened to hear about the death of someone I've met especially those people that meant so much to me.

I imagine my life if my life had been different. I imagine having a boyfriend in school and going with him to prom. I imagine my wedding and my first career. I imagine having a home. 

Will I ever have a life? Will I ever have my first boyfriend and my first career?