Monday, April 21, 2025

  Monday, April 21, 2025

Monday.

I went after breakfast this morning. I kept waking up last night. I'm anxious about everything. I want to do so much and I want to do nothing at the same time. I'm avoiding things. I've always avoided things.

This morning I found out that someone I once knew died several years ago. It's strange this weight of missing someone. I've always met people who I automatically wanted to be around. This attraction is not a sexual attraction but something more meaningful. I don't know how it works. I don't know why the people I clinge to are the people that I want to be around...

I do know now that my connection with certain people is from me being Autistic.

I'm not good at communicating with people. I don't randomly message people too often. There have been people who I wish I had talked to more. There's people that I wish I could spend time with again. Some of these people are now dead. 

I hate being alone most of the time. I do need my time to myself but I do need to be around people who I feel that deeper connection with...

The chain on my bicycle came off this morning. I'm hopeful about someone fixing it today.

Tomorrow evening I'm planning to attend the disability program at the center on the other side of the town across the river from my community.

Friday is the D&D program at the library in my community.

I'm trying to work on my writing and photography and video. I want to do so much but I don't have the energy or motivation to do much of anything...