Friday, April 11, 2025

  Friday, April 11, 2025

The place where I would have went this morning for free produce is no longer giving out free produce due to budget cuts made by Trump.

I'm going to the Autism program at the library in the town across the river from my community. I'm planning to go early to talk to a social worker. I'm taking 2 of my laptops with me to have them fixed if possible.

I'm attending a program about the Titanic at the library in my community afterwards.

I was writing new poetry daily but I haven't had the energy for it these past few days.

I keep thinking about having my first boyfriend and my first career. I wonder how others are so easily able to find these things and I'm finding it impossible.

I'm self conscious about my body. I've been told that I've lost weight but I still feel ugly. It doesn't seem like anyone finds me attractive. I often wonder if my penis is a good size. I wonder if my cock is good enough.

I look back to the times I'd meet old men from the internet. I would sometimes look down as my dick was in their mouth. I don't remember what made me want to meet them. I don't think I sat down and planned to meet old men.

A couple of times I had an interview for jobs and I thought I had a chance but I was wrong.

I often look in the mirror and I don't see the person I see on the inside. I feel like I'm looking at a different person...